Legal Wedding Ceremony (Non-religious, secular, civil, barebones)

For hundreds (thousands) of years, marriage 'ceremonies' or ceremonial contracts were non-religious. They primarily involved contracts between families, and did not involve clergy or the law. An interesting exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art this year, Art and Love in Renaissance Italy depicts love and marriage in Renaissance Florence. Most of the events depicted are civil only - and many do not even involve a notary or judge, as such roles are modern civil servants. A marriage contract was signed (often by the fathers first) and then by the couple, and by the 18th century, drawn up by a lawyer, but the marriage itself was sealed when the couple shook hands, so the symbol of marriage was two clasped hands - the FIDES, which is also seen on the Irish Claddagh ring. (The picture shows a 15th Italian plate with the FIDES handclasp motif from the Met exhibit) Only the rich could afford a church or cathedral wedding - or pay to invite a priest come and offer prayers at the wedding feast, and it seems to have been totally optional.

The parts of a wedding that matter legally are thus the contractual parts - and if you are looking for a basis to form your LEGAL CEREMONY, independent of any religious bits, here are the basic parts, usually led by the Officiant:

* Who are each of you? (full names, known to those present). This avoids the blushing bride hidden under the veil who turns out to be someone else, and the proxy marriage, and all sorts of legal dupes.
* This is a legal wedding contract signing (not just a betrothal or a spiritual marriage or a sham marriage)
* Do those present recognize this couple? Are you willing to attest that they ARE who they ARE, and that you do not know any reason they should not be married? (This is one of the roles of the witnesses)
* To each: are you here of your own free will? Are you willing to marry this specific person?
* Vows: Speak to each other, and declare in front of us witnesses that you take the other person for your legal spouse.
* Rings - totally optional. Rings are modern substitute for a dowry, and used to be given only to the bride, as attestation that the husband would support her. Now they are seen as an outward symbol of the verbal vows.\
* Signing of contract/license
* Kiss (in some traditions, the kiss is the 'consummation', and the 'exchange of souls', but it is also a modern stand-in for the wedding night. Of course 'non-consummation' is still grounds for annulment in some places.
* The presentation of the couple. This is the 'village recognition' part - Miss Pepsi and Mr. Cola are now Mr and Mrs Pepsi-Cola, and we will all recognize that they are a legal couple (parents and previous lovers take note!) they live in that hut over there, and they are a unit. Hurrah. Let's eat.

If you want to have a legal ceremony, perhaps because you are having a spiritual ceremony at another time, you can follow the above steps, and do a little personalization. Here is a 'barebones' ceremony which includes these steps. Here is another discussion of steps for a 'legal' ceremony

And you might enjoy adding the FIDES, and a little Renaissance Poetry!

Be grateful you can marry

BBC
The Taleban in Afghanistan have publicly killed a young couple who they said had tried to run away to get married, officials say.

The man, 21, and woman, 19, were shot dead on Monday in front of a mosque in the south-western province of Nimroz. Governor Ghulam Dastageer Azad told the AFP news agency the killings followed a decree by local religious leaders and were an "insult to Islam".

Mr Azad said: "An unmarried young boy and an unmarried girl who loved each other and wanted to get married had eloped because their families would not approve the marriage." Officials said the couple were traced by militants after they tried to go to Iran. They were made to return to their village in Khash Rod district.

"Three Taleban mullahs brought them to the local mosque and they passed a fatwa (religious decree) that they must be killed. They were shot and killed in front of the mosque in public," the governor said.

Correspondents say that the killings took place in a remote and dangerous region, where the government has no access. The Taleban ruled Afghanistan from 1996 to 2001 and during that time implemented its austere interpretation of Islamic Sharia law, carrying out public killings and floggings.

Unmarried men and women were forbidden from talking or meeting in public and women were not allowed out of their homes without a male relative. Girls were discouraged from going to school. Extrajudicial "honour killings" have been widely carried out in Afghanistan since then by conservative families angered by a relative who has brought them shame - usually by refusing to marry a chosen partner.

Vermont passes Gay Marriage!

MONTPELIER — Vermont has become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage — and the first to do so with a legislature’s vote.

The Legislature voted Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto of a bill allowing gays and lesbians to marry. The vote was 23-5 to override in the state Senate and 100-49 to override in the House. Under Vermont law, two-thirds of each chamber had to vote for override.

The vote came nine years after Vermont adopted its first-in-the-nation civil unions law. It’s now the fourth state to permit same-sex marriage. Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are the others. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.

Iowa Supreme Court: Gay marriage legal!

My goodness! My Home state! Things are moving fast - so proud of Iowa today. Des Moines Register The Iowa Supreme Court this morning unanimously upheld gays’ right to marry.

“The Iowa statute limiting civil marriage to a union between a man and a woman violates the equal protection clause of the Iowa Constitution,” the justices said in a summary of their decision. The court rules that gay marriage would be legal in three weeks, starting April 24.

Sweden approves Same Sex Marriages

Stockholm - A broad majority in the Swedish parliament Wednesday approved adoption of same-sex marriage legislation after a six-hour debate. Six of the seven parties in parliament had backed the proposal drafted by the Committee on Civil Affairs to introduce a gender- neutral marriage law.

The new legislation is to take effect as of May 1, and replaces the legislation approved in 1995 that allows same-sex couples to form a union in Sweden via registered partnership. Couples who have registered partnership can keep that status or amend it by an application to the authorities or marry.

The changes will not affect church marriage ceremonies for the time being. A majority of bishops in the Church of Sweden in February said the church should no longer handle legal registrations of marriage.